New Fall’s Resoultion
There’s no worse time for making resolutions or starting something new than January 1. Where I live, January 1 is right in the heart of winter. Days are short. Nights are long. We’ve been fighting the long nights and cold winds with warm fires and the company of friends and family all November and December, and by January, the snow is just starting to fall thick upon the ground and we are ready to rest deep in hibernation. No, January is not the time for resolutions you’ll really stick to. January is time for a long winter’s nap.
But you know what’s a GREAT time for resolutions? September 1.
Where I live, September 1 is high harvest season. My garden, so slow to get started this year, is overflowing with tomatoes and cucumbers and green beans. Even a second flush of strawberries! From now trough October, it’s all bounty. The butternut squash is setting on the vines to be put away for winter. I spent all last weekend canning up tomatoes and pickle relish to eat when the ground is hard. The days are cooler now, and I am no longer just melting into a puddle on my deck. There’s energy right here, right now, form movement.
All things living come in seasons. More on that the seasons of human life and sexuality in future posts, for today, let’s talk literal seasons. The two best seasons for change are the equinoxes: autumn and spring. Right now, if you’re in my hemisphere, the wave of summer has crested, and it’s just one long, thrilling ride down onto the beach. On the other end of the world, spring is swelling, wet and green. These are the times to take stock and decide which direction you want to go.
So, I invite you: spend a little time today thinking about how you are moving through your days and your nights.
How are you spending your time?
How are you are feeling in your body?
How are your relationships?
What is the state of your personal power? Your sexual energy?
Where is your attention?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how alive do you feel right now?
Can you dream bigger than this? If not, what’s stopping you?
VITA coaching is desire-focused. This means that we always start with wanting. It’s actually one of my favorite things about this beautiful body of work, that it’s rooted in raw wanting.
But let me tell you something wild:
When I first started VITA, I could not identify or express ANY desire.
“I don’t know what I want, just not this.”
Chances are, you can point to several dozen things that are wrong with your life right now. But if that’s all you ever do: “Not this, or that, or the other thing…” Well, the best you can do is run away from several dozen different bad things all at the same time. That’s exhausting, and there’s no guarantee you won’t run yourself right into worse disaster.
But do start with what’s wrong! It’s so easy to find. Start by pointing a big, blaming finger at something awful and saying: “I hate this.”
Excellent, dear one. What is the opposite of this hateful, wrong thing that would be RIGHT?
Make a list. Just brain dump it. The opposite of exhaustion is, what? It could be so many things:
10 hours of uninterrupted sleep
A magical injection of energy
A cheerleading squad, cheering your every move
A swat team of housekeepers
Time with your girlfriends, each and every month
Several days in a row at a hotel by yourself
A beach vacation with your love
The BBC’s Pride And Prejudice, all 6 episodes in a row
Mid day naps every day
You get the idea. We have to start somewhere, and we start with wanting. It doesn’t actually matter if my client says, “I want a fairy godmother to wave her wand and take away all my responsibilities.” Because we can build something real off of any fantasy.
What would you have, if you had that fairy godmother?
How will it feel when you have it?
Look, even when you get to be an absolute boss at wanting things (as I have happily become through my own self work!) None of us only wants what we want. We always want the way it’s going to make us feel. And there are many more paths to that feeling than through just a Fairy Godmother. The Fairy Godmother in this hypothetical example is taking away my client’s responsibilities. She’s opening up freedom, space, autonomy. She’s clearing the slate, presenting fresh start, luxurious relation to time, limitless possibility. This client wants to feel free.
And freedom is something very real, and very close at hand. Freedom is something we can find in just a few weeks of work.
Look, I’ve had a lot of questions this last week about “does it have to be 12 sessions of work for coaching?” And the answer is no. It doesn’t. When I set my 12 session package, it was after doing several early clients with 10 sessions and thinking, “this is epic, and it would be that much more powerful with just two more sessions.” I’m confident in your ability to profoundly change your life in 12 weeks. Most of my clients GET THEIR GOALS in 12 weeks. Certainly feeling freedom and expansiveness is very very achievable in 12 weeks. Is it achieveable in 6 weeks? Probably. In one single session? Sometimes. Sometimes a single session breaks you wide open and gets you where you wanted to be. But I can’t know if that’s going to happen on any given day.
The point is, spending $3600 on your own self development may feel like a lot — even an impossibility — to most people. And I get it. But if you have the money to spend on your own thriving and empowerment, think about it. What is the feeling of freedom worth? And not just in a session, but accessible to you, readily, close at hand, as a friend on your path. It’s worth a lot more than $3600.
And still, you might not have it.
And because I, too, am entering September, and I, too, have vision and purpose and goals in my life, I’m making fall 2023 the season of new offerings. Group offerings. Online courses. Local in-person workshops. In-person retreats. I’ve got a lot of vision and a lot of energy right now, and I’m using it judiciously before Winter is upon us.
So this is just a note to say,
If you’ve got big goals (or big problems!) and are ready for some serious work, I’ve got coaching spots available. Click here to BOOK A FREE CALL and learn more.
If you want very much to find your desires and access the feelings that drive them, but you’re not ready for the commitment of 1 on 1 coaching, join my email list (bottom of home page). Because more offerings are going to be announced soon.
And if you have zero interest in coaching, that’s totally fine! Ride the wave of September your own glorious way. And do let know what your dreams are, and how it will feel when you have them. I’m cheering you on.